We Will Survive

Cancer is a fearful thing. Some people can't even say the word. They call it the "c" word. But from the very first time my doctor told me "It's cancer," I decided, I mean, I really decided in the depth of my soul that I would beat this thing -- this invader in my body.

I saw cancer not as a death sentence but as an invader trying to overtake the life in my body. Remember the old pacman game? That's how I see cancer. I see it going along gobbling up all my good cells and spitting out junk behind him -- distorted cells that do nothing to sustain life.

So I asked my Life Giver to intervene, and together we're winning the battle.

I've used the internet to learn all I could about this disease and how to use the wisdom of the medical field as well as cancer survivors to do what I could to take back the control over what I put into my body both physically and spiritually.

My Lord has truly been my Rock through all this. What would I do without Him? He has made me stronger. He has helped me to see what is really important.

So many people spend their days trying to fill their life with material stuff. They are driven to obtain more. They fill their house, then their garage to where their cars and SUVs sit out in their driveway, and then they put a storage shed in the back yard because the lawn mower can no longer fit in the garage! Meanwhile, even their families get squeezed into smaller spaces of their heart as they work and work to get more. And they try to justify their need by saying they're doing it for the kids to have more. How sad!

The hearts of people have drifted further away from the heart of God. People all around us have a great need for God, and they don't even see it! It's for us to show them God in our lives and as they see what we have in Him, they will want Him, too.

People have told me how courageous I am, how strong I am. Only God has given me the courage and strength I've needed. And then it's my responsibility to use it -- to face any fears I may encounter along the way.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing that you think you cannot do."

Proverbs 3:25-26 says, "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it comes; for the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken."

He is my confidence.

What are you afraid of?

Today is a beautiful day! It's full of life all around me. Trees, grass, birds, a toad hopping over my lawn, even grasshoppers. The sky is clear blue, the sun is shining brightly. The very air smells of life. Life IS in the air!

Then why when I came in and checked my emails did I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach just reading the headings from a message on a webpage about ovarian cancer survivors where someone wrote about her doctor visit?

I've been keeping myself busy doing all the things I couldn't do when I was on chemo. And maybe I've been unconsciously avoiding my other website on ovarian cancer and those still in the midst of their battle. But I must always remember that "it" may never be gone and may show its ugly head once again.

But I have Life in me! Every day IS filled with hope! Breathe Him in!

To start your new day with Him, I share this video with you...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X43XXpItGk0

Have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy God! Breathe Him in!

"Whereas you know not what shall be on the next day. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." James 4:14

Do you know who you are? Do you know why you're here? And what are you doing about it?

These past few weeks, some of our neighbors have been feuding -- I mean really bad stuff. And they seem to be enjoying it -- enjoying the conflict and keeping things stirred up. And they seem to think everyone should join them.

Me? I've got too much living to do! I'm taking a meal to an unsaved lady who just had surgery this week. When I called, she seemed astounded that someone she hardly knew would do such a thing. I'm here today to brighten her day!

Another neighbor called today and asked if I'd want to walk a little in the neighborhood with her as her grandchildren rode their bikes. I said "Sure, I'd love to!"

I say, agree with God and make the most of your days -- live for Him and let your neighbors see it and just maybe -maybe want the Life you have. Not because of what we've done but because of who He is!

Here's a video for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGU76is9BuY&feature=related

Ask yourself, "Who am I?"

After I got my last chemo, I thought I was doing pretty good, but after 2 weeks my blood counts started to drop, and by the 3rd week had pretty much bottomed out. When my doctor said I needed another blood transfusion, all I could think was "I have too much to do." Our pastors were coming for their Sat. morning breakfast the next morning, and our friends from Pennsylvania were arriving at suppertime. So I decided to go ahead with my plans. After our breakfast, I went up to Charlotte for my type and crossmatch of my blood. That would take off 2 hrs. before my transfusion time on Sunday.

Our friends came, and we had a nice time visiting. We left our friends at our house at 7am. That way they could take their time getting ready to go south, and we went back up to Charlotte. We finished by 1:30 and made it home by 2:30, just in time for an important meeting in our neighborhood. We accepted an invitation at a neighbor's house for a barbecue with several families afterward even though I was still very worn out. But it was  great to be able to speak of the Lord and what's happening in our world today. One lady is having surgery today and as she was leaving, I gave her a hug and told her I'd pray she'd have an easy time. She seemed surprised and smiled and said "I'd like that."

You know, even though I was extremely tired, I knew I wanted to serve our pastors their breakfast so Lennie could minister the Word to them. Our pastors give it out so much and also need to be ministered to.

I knew I wanted to be here for our weary travelers as they came on business to the south. It was a refreshing time with them.

And I knew I should be here for our neighbors who don't know the Lord. There are always opportunities to be understanding, to be giving of your time or share some of your food with them as we did. It wasn't hard, really. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm no martyr! I did have the thought of how good it would feel to just go home to my sofa. But I've been praying for my neighbors for over 2 years -- even before they ever had a thought of moving here -- even when their yards were just "woods" that were still undeveloped.

So it was a very long but a very good day. The Lord took care of me through it all. Alot was accomplished. Even though we as cancer patients have alot on our plate, we can always find some place where we can serve the Lord and keep Him first in our life. Even if it's only serving someone breakfast or hugging someone and telling them you're praying for them, God uses us if we're just willing.

So I ask the Lord, "What's next?" Another day to live for Him!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008, a little boy arrived into this world name William Wallace Seyler, our fifth grandbaby. He weighed in at 8lbs. 3oz. and measured 20 1/2" long. Our son, Rob, named him after Sir William Wallace of Scotland. You may know him as he was portrayed in the movie "Braveheart".

Sir William Wallace was a hero of Scotland and a true patriot. His desire for peace and freedom united the clans. He gained the loyalty of the people, struck fear into his enemies and defied the cruel hand of an evil and invading King Edward 'Longshanks' Plantagenet I of England. William Wallace possessed one great strength -- the desire to be free.

This little boy born just two days ago -- will he grow up into a man like Sir William Wallace of Scotland? Maybe. What will his strengths be? Will his name inspire him to be a great leader?

What do we aspire to be?

My desire is to exemplify Christ in my life. To let others see Him in my life and want what I have -- freedom in Christ. He already paid the price. He already set the captives free. He paved the way for us to have peace. He took away all fear of death and set us free from the bondage of sin.

I've been through some hardships these last 6 months, but the Lord has fought some great battles for me. And what good would it have done if I didn't let Him lead me through it? Those around me wouldn't have seen this great victory we shared, the Lord and I. Those around me know I've given Him the glory through all this. It's given me great freedom to share my Lord with my neighbors and friends and caregivers in the medical field. On that note, it's been a great experience, a time of growing closer to my Lord, a time of sharing the life I share with Him with others.

Sir William Wallace once said, "It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom".

What does this world need? This world needs a William Wallace who had a love for Scotland who led the people to freedom from bondage.

What does this world need? This world needs all of us who love the Lord to lead the way to Christ to the millions around us who don't know the way. Let your light shine before men -- show the Light of Christ in your life, let it shine bright and sing a song of praise to God before them. Make it your life song.

Watch this video and think...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaia32TsPq0&feature=related

What is my lifesong?

Today I had to call AT&T when I realized the past 2 months they were double charging me for my internet. Even though I got disconnected, I called back, and of course, had to start all over again with the automated system to find someone to talk to. I started to feel a bit irritated but stayed calm and found Natasha to be very nice and in fact, solved the problem quite efficiently. I told her at the end of the converstation how nice she was, and she thanked me.

Did you know that people in the customer service arena are some of the most stressed out people because they aren't supposed to "lose their cool" with customers? They hold in all the stress and tend to have more health problems than those working other jobs. Even psychiatrists are known to have one of the highest suicide rates as they constantly hear and have to deal with all their clients problems.

Proverbs 17:22 says "A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones." It's unhealthy to not have a happy heart.

So in 1Peter 3:8 Peter writes "be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous." 

We never know what someone else has gone through that day. How much more should we show the love of Christ to someone we meet in Walmart or a customer service representative on the phone?

Here's a short video to watch and then ask yourself as I have "Do I see them as the Lord sees them?"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfeXxkbgCVE

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Doesn't it seem like time goes by so quickly? Since I don't sleep well at night, I usually fall asleep on the sofa in the early afternoon and time escapes my notice once again. Where has time gone?

As I started writing this, I was sitting in a recliner receiving my last chemo. Looking about me, I saw a room filled with others just like me who spend hours sitting in a  chair - some watching tv, some reading, some talking to a family member or friend - and some just sleeping as this life saving brew travels through their body.

It also gives opportunity to sit and contemplate in our mind about this life we live and what is really important to each of us.

This past week was a difficult week for our family. Lennie's dad came home from the hospital and under hospice care. He's 83 yrs. old and lives in Pennsylvania. We decided to wait until Thursday to leave for our trip up to Penna. so I could get over my sick days after chemo. Our oldest son, Rob, flew into Phila. airport so we picked him up on our way up.

It was a busy time visiting Pop and the whole family as well as mine, meals, hugs and kisses and lots of loving. Pop rallied and enjoyed it all. He even decided to go to his granddaughter's house for dinner one night, walked around the yard and even started singing his little jingles known to all the grandchildren and great grandchildren, but by Sunday he was having a very hard time again.

Rob has been working on the family geneology for years now consisting of Pop's army records, pictures, rubbings from family tombstones, all kinds of birth and death records back to the early 1800's, newspaper articles - it's very well done. He decided we should drive around to get photos of the hospital where he was born, the houses he grew up in, my high school and Lennie's, the church we were married in, etc. We also went back to the cemetery to take photos of family tombstones of relatives gone before us.

As we looked at each tombstone and the dates on it, we wondered how they spent their days - what they spent their time doing. From the day they were born to the day they died, what happened between that dash inscribed on that stone? What was important to them?

Something to think about. How will we be remembered? What filled our days? What will our friends and family remember about us?

Watch this short video and think...

How are you spending your dash?

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPyu4M2di8U 

Well, I missed yet another chemo...my last one.  I came down with bronchitis which in itself whould've postponed my chemo but also had a low red cell count. The doctor's office called and wanted me to have another transfusion, but I asked if we could wait the weekend and see how I do. They said okay. At least I wasn't sick on Mother's Day.

Our boys don't live near us but always keep in touch with me. Our youngest, Josh and his wife called from Orlando where they were vacationing for a week to celebrate their second anniversary.  It's good they could get away together as he travels for his job all week and they only see each other on weekends.

We spent a quiet weekend together. My husband watched me like a hawk always worrying I would get too dizzy and faint (which I only did once)! We went out to dinner with our friends and went back to their house and had coffee and sat out on their back porch and talked until it got dark. It was a nice time.

As for all you mothers, I leave you with a video to watch. You'll no doubt find yourself as this mom sings a song to us all! Enjoy! And Happy Mother's Day!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYZ7EMoMu64

When my grandchildren come for their summer visit, we take a walk through our development every morning. My oldest grandson, Robbie, and his mother usually jog while I'm usually pushing the youngest, Malachi in the stroller. Jack rides his Big Wheels and Emma rides her bike. Sometimes gramma runs in short spurts while Emma tries to run over my shadow. It's a fun time for all of us. Malachi especially loves it, laughing as Emma crisscrosses in front of us.

What is a shadow? One definition of a shadow is a shelter, a protection. Another definition is a constant companion. A protection, a constant companion....

Psalm 91:1 reads "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty."

God Almighty is my constant companion -- going before me protecting me, holding me up when I stumble, carrying me when my strength fails. He is my El-Shaddai.

Watch this video ....

 http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1438490562

...and imagine El Shaddai with you...and realize that in Him we not only have freedom from all our fears but also the power to overcome all obstacles satan puts before the paths we walk each day.

I went for my weekly bloodwork at the hospital this morning. Had to stop by Walgreens for a natural sleepaid someone at church told me about. Haven't slept well since January - side effects of the chemo they say. Anyhow, it started to pour as soon as I got back in the car! So I decided to skip by Walmart and come home. It's always good to have rain in upstate South Carolina. The drought from last year has been tough on everyone so this rain is a blessing indeed. Trouble is a couple hours later, we found ourseslves under a tornado warning.

It's amazing how we can turn on the tv and watch the weather forcasters track a storm as it comes down your very street nowadays! They can let you know just when a storm will be in your neighborhood and when it will leave.

Just imagine how God watches what goes on around us and our loved ones every day. His eyes are always on us. He cares so much for us that He's always watching. And when the storms come, He's right there with us extending His loving arms to help us through those rough waters.

Isaiah 40:11 reads "He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart."

I remember when our boys were little, we raised a baby lamb as a pet. We affectionately named him Bert just like Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street. Bert was just like a dog. He would baaa when someone came to visit to announce their arrival. He would run around the yard and play with the boys. Lennie fed him and gave him water and tied him up so he wouldn't get out of the yard and get lost. If he called his name, Bert would answer with a bleating baaaa to let us know where he was. At night, Lennie would pick him up to put him in the smoke house for the night, and as Lennie carried him, Bert would lick his face. Lennie was, in essence, his shepherd.

My Father does that for me. He has carried me along this journey all through the hard times we've gone through and even on the days when I just felt lonely or a little down. He's my Abba. My Shepherd. And He carries me close to His heart.