We Will Survive

I, too, have had trouble trying to email Richard to keep my blog.  I don't always pay attention to all the technical stuff we're supposed to do, and with the cancer treatments you don't always think the same.  So I hope all remains well with our blogs. I would truly miss those of you who've been sharing your life with me.

It's a great thing, this internet.  It's helped me tremendously to learn about cancer and all the different chemo drugs, side effects, and the testimonies of others going through the same thing.

Because of this internet, the Lord sends me encouragement through all of you as I read your blogs and then you also respond to mine.  Bless you.

John 10:10 "I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly."

God has a plan for my life.  So I always ask "What's next? What do You have for me now?"  See, we're partners, He and I.  I'm not out on my own here.  Sometimes He asks me "What do you want?"  That's what partners do.  They work together.

He has a plan for everyone.  It includes abundant life.  But the plan has to be told.  That's where I come in.

There's a song my son shared with me.  It's called "Bring The Rain" by Mercy Me. You can hear it on

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

Here are the words:

"I can count a million times people asking me how I can praise You with all that I've been through.  The question just amazes me, Can circumstances possibly change who I forever am in You?

Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days, it's never really ever crossed my mind to turn my back on You, oh Lord, my only Shelter from the storm. But instead, I draw closer through these times, so I pray,

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free.  Bring me anything that brings You glory.  And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain.  But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because You are much greater than the pain.  You who made a way for me, by suffering Your destiny.  So tell me what's a little rain?  So I pray.

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free. Bring me anything that brings You glory.  And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain.  But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain.

Oh, it's raining here.  Sometimes I can't see through the downpours, but He does.  His light shines through every raindrop.  Life is blooming and putting on a show for the world to see.  It's a glorious thing!

I want to thank those of you who have commented on this blog.  The Lord has surely sent you to encourage me.  Pray for my husband, Lennie.  He's preaching tomorrow.  He's speaking of God's goodness and grace in the light of life's trials.  Pray for those we've invited to come and listen.

And for yourselves...How's the weather in your life?

Yesterday someone made a comment to me that truly hurt my feelings.  It made me feel like they were tired of me being ill and that I should be over it by now.  It was a very unloving comment, and she and her friend sitting beside her laughed hilariously.  I didn't say anything because I was so stunned by what she said, but I saw my husband was hurt as well by their uncaring attitude.  And I had just prayed for them before their arrival to our home.

Why is it "friends" seem to have no time or interest in you when an illness like cancer befalls you?  They give you the impression that you need to get over it while they go on with their lives talking about food, how bad their children are, what a wreck their finances are and how they hate their jobs.

Before we went to sleep last night, we prayed the Lord's blessings on them again and gave it all to Him trusting Him to take care of it.

Yesterday is done.  Today is a new day. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, and God is good. And tomorrow.  I like how Scarlett Ohara said it, "Tomorrow is another day!" 

One thing a mother struggles with as her children grow up and move away from home is that she isn't needed anymore.  For 21 years I was needed by my boys, and then they were gone.  It was very hard.

I remember a segment of "The Waltons" when "grandma" had a stroke and was in the hospital for a long time.  Actually, Ellen Corby who played "grandma", really did suffer a stroke and was recuperating for many months.  When "grandma" came home, she was not allowed to help with the cooking and cleaning and was expected to sit in her rocking chair and rest.  One day "Olivia" came out on the front porch to snap beans, and "grandma" was pleased to help even though she only had the use of one hand.  In her frustration she tried to make her feelings known to "Olivia" but hadn't been able to speak due to the stroke, and then through tearful attempts she managed to say the words "need me".  She wanted to be needed.  We all do. 

One day this week Lennie told me how much he needed me.  We used to kid around alot about how helpless he is without me to even get him out the door each morning.  It's a joke many wives share about their husbands.  But I know I'm needed.  And it's special.  And it's nice to hear someone tell you that you're needed.

God the Father also wants to be needed.  He wants us to come to Him when we need help.  He knows I need Him.  I tell Him all the time!

This week my blood tests showed my red cell count is low, but at least this time I don't have to have transfusions.  I'm so thankful for that.  Tomorrow I have my 4th chemo treatment.  I'm trusting Him to keep my body safe as I go in for my infusion. 

He is my protector.  And I'm trusting Him to "keep" me.  I have much to do yet.  So, when my body weakens, He picks me up and gives me strength.

Oh, I know I'm needed.  And He knows I need Him.

I had my 3rd chemo treatment on Friday even tho my white cell count was very low.  My doctor didn't want to miss another week so I had to go back up to Charlotte the following day for a shot of Neulasta which is supposed to try to get your bone marrow to produce more white cells. Trouble is it causes bone pain.  A friend of mine who has breast cancer had told me that if I ever had to get a shot of Neulasta to take a claritin in the morning and continue it for 3 days to keep the bone pain away.  So I did. It worked pretty well although my arms and legs started to ache Monday morning.  I also got sick that morning as soon as Lennie left for work :(  That night I also suffered from restless arms and legs which drives you crazy...took a phenargan and went to bed at 8:30. 

Today I'm feeling a whole lot better.

Sometimes during the "sickness and pain" days, it's not so easy to not feel sorry for yourself especially when you don't have any family or friends around to help.

But then I always remember David.

In 1Samuel, the Philistines were making war against David.  And in 1Samuel 30 the Amalekites invaded Ziklag and burned it and took captive the women and children two of which were his own wives.  In verse 6 it reads "And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David encouraged himself in the Lord."

So that's what I do.  I encourage myself in the Lord.  I put in a CD of praise songs and tell the Lord, "This is for you" and I sing the praises to Him.  I read His love letters He left for me.  And as always, I know He is enough.